


Mommy, Please

by Loki_ate_my_pudding



Series: Please [1]
Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Depression, Horror, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, Manipulation, Sad Eddie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2018-12-31 03:33:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 19,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12123639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loki_ate_my_pudding/pseuds/Loki_ate_my_pudding
Summary: Eddie struggles with some things that Pennywise says.-Or a load of Eddie being depressed, thinking about his mom, his sickness, and Richie Tozier.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> IM A SUCKER FOR REDDIE GUYS  
> ALSO THIS IS JUST A LOTTA HURT A COMFORT

_"Mommy, please tell me I'm still a good boy... Please still love me..."_

Eddie felt sick, staring into the leper's eyes as it spewed thick, scarlet blood from it's mouth. He couldn't move, feet rooted to the ground and eyes stuck open, but, _God,_ did he want to run. He wanted more than anything to run and get the fuck out of the woods, but he couldn't. 

_"No, Eddie. You're not a good boy. You're a bad boy! Good boys don't like other boys, Eddie, you're sick! You need medicine, Eddie, you need medicine to get better. You're not my little boy until you stop liking other boys, Eddie. You're sick!"_

His breathing picked up and he felt his lungs constrict, his chest tightening up. It was supposed to be gone, there weren't supposed to be any more lepers or apparitions of Georgie, or fucking clowns, but here the leper was, awkwardly limping closer to the short boy. He wanted to scream for his friends, wanted to scream until his throat was raw, scream until he couldn't scream anymore. 

_"B-but, mommy, you're supposed to always love me.."_

This was what It wanted, and even though Eddie knew that, he still couldn't get himself to not be scared. He'd fucking kicked the clown in the face not two weeks ago, but now he was back to square one, scared of a non-existent leper. But fear still coursed through his being,  making his hands shake and his breathing increase even more than before. 

_"Eddie, mommy only loves good boys, and you are not a good boy. You're a sick, bad little boy."_

And finally he could scream, the sound breaking through the silence, because there wasn't a leper there anymore. His mother wasn't talking anymore. There were no more ugly moans from the walking disease, and no more hateful words being thrown at him. He noticed the lack of his fears, but the screaming didn't stop. 

It didn't stop when he could finally move, backing up so quick it was almost violent until he rammed his back into a hard rock. Slowly sinking to the ground, pulling his knees to his chest, the screams slowly subsided into little whimpers and sobs as he stared at where the Leper once was.

 _"Little Eddie, little gay boy, aren't you just a little scared that your mommy's not gonna love you no more? 'Cuz lemme tell you, she already doesn't."_ It's voice dripped venom, the figure taking the place of the Leper, getting closer to him, _"Your mommy doesn't like sick little gay boys, Eddie. Why aren't you calling for your little lover, Richie, boy?"_

It's word's hung in the air for several moments before It lurked closer to him, baring it's sharp teeth and nipping at his arm. Eddie let out a shriek at the action and struggled to breathe, gasping for air, a fish out of water, left alone to die. 

Eddie just wanted his friends. He just wanted to get away from this nightmare. He wanted to go somewhere that wasn't home and actually sleep for once. 

But Eddie wasn't a lucky kid. He didn't get to be saved by his friends when he needed them this time. He had to save himself. 

-

Richie Tozier was the first to notice Eddie's absence that day, but when he saw Eddie again, he knew it wasn't because the kid had a cold or his mom kept him back. The kid's hair looked like he hadn't brushed it in weeks, dark circles loomed under his eyes, and his skin was a lighter shade of pale than Edward fucking Cullen's. 

"Hey, Eds! Did'ya get bit by a vampire or something?" Richie's humor seemed- was forced as he spoke to the shorter boy, who slowly made his way over. 

"No." Eddie's voice was quiet, and if Richie didn't know any better, he would've cracked another joke about how Eddie was turning all emo on them. 

But Richie couldn't shake he awful feeling that filled him when he watched as Eddie stared blankly at the ground the whole day, almost entire oblivious to the world around him, and he knew that something had gone horribly wrong. 

By the time they'd all gone home, Richie couldn't stand the feeling any longer and called Eddie. "Hey, Eds, can we talk?" Richie asked over the phone, his tone as light as he could make it with the heavy feeling of nervousness sitting on his shoulders. 

"Yeah, Richie, we can. Where and when?" Eddie asked softly, his eyes darting around the living room for any sign of his mom. He didn't want her to know.

"How about the park in thirty?" 

"Yeah... yeah, sounds good."

-

Eddie's hands shook as he sat on the park bench, keeping his eyes downcast as he thought about what Richie wanted to talk to him about. Richie and his dark, curly brown hair and thick glasses and his-

"Hey, Eddie Spaghetti!" Richie's voice cut through the silence as he plopped down his bike and sat next to Eddie, "What's going on with you?" 

"What do you mean? Nothing's going on." Eddie's voice was defensive, his hands momentarily stilling from pure shock and nerves. 

"See, Eds, that's the thing. I've known you for three years and you've never been like this before. Don't bullshit me, man, we've been through too much shit to lie to each other." Eddie noticed that Richie sounded vaguely desperate for the truth, and he couldn't help but tell him.

"Richie, It's not gone. I saw it a few days ago.., the day I didn't show up at the Barrens. It was in the woods and there was a leper, and mom, and-" Eddie felt his heartrate picking up and breathing became increasingly difficult as he tried to talk to Richie, anxiety radiating from his bones.

"Hey, hey, calm down a bit, you need to breathe- what do you mean your mom was there?" Richie frowned deeply at his words, his hand instinctively grabbing Eddie's in an attempt to comfort the panicking boy.

"Sh-she was there and she was saying I was sick- I'm sick and she doesn't love me and she won't love me unless I stop liking boys-" Eddie wheezed, squeezing his eyes shut and scrunching up his face as he struggled to tell his story and breathe correctly at the same time.

Richie's heart dropped at Eddie's words, frowning deeply. The kid was scared that his mother wouldn't love him because he was gay... it all made sense to Richie. Richie, of course, had already come out as bisexual a few months prior, the boys (and girl) all figuring out who they really were.

"Eddie, where's your inhaler?" Richie tried to remain calm for Eddie, but the thought of the evil clown running about again made his whole being instantly scream Nope. 

Eddie didn't respond, the only sound him wheezing and desperately trying to fill his lungs with air, and Richie decided to just search the other boy's fanny pack for an inhaler. His hands started shaking and he instantly put it to Eddie's lips when he located it, pushing down on the trigger when Eddie breathed in. 

After several moments of calming him down, Eddie and Richie were silent on the park bench. 

"'m scared, Richie." Eddie's voice was small, breaking the heavy silence that was once a blanket, covering the two, "I'm scared that everyone's gonna stop caring about me, and mom's gonna stop loving me, and you're going to hate me, and I can't handle this, Richie, I can't handle It. I want to actually die I'm so fucking scared. I'm sick Richie, nothing is ever gonna be the same." 

It wasn't real for Richie until he heard Eddie's voice break and a soft sob, and he turned and held the smaller boy close to his chest and shushed him gently, rocking him to calm him down. 

"Hey, Eddie Spaghetti, lemme tell you a secret that's not really a secret- I'm never going to stop caring about you. I could never hate you, and neither could any of us in the Loser's club. I'm really sorry if you think that I don't care because of my shitty jokes all the time, and I know I tease you a lot, but I care so much about you, I can't put it into words." Richie spoke softly, his words soothing the other male, calming him down effectively, "How about you stay at my house tonight, okay? We can play shitty board games, or go to the movies or something?" 

Eddie nodded a bit, still tight against Richie's chest, "That sounds good, Richie." 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Princess Frostine is my bitch!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to popular request, here is chapter two! I have a little surprise for the ending, and if you liked part one and like this part, you should be A. Happy as hell, or B. Nervous as hell, and the occasional C. Both!

He thought that Richie Tozier had everything that a 13-year-old boy could want. Parents who let him stay out late, a big room, lots of comics, and an extensive board game collection. He wished he had half the things Richie had. But it wasn't all it seemed, and when Eddie entered Richie's house, he realized why Richie didn't have friends over when his parents were home. Richie only lead him straight to his room, locking his door behind him and putting his bag on the floor by his desk. 

"So what game, Eds?" Richie looked up and smiled at Eddie, who looked slightly confused, "I have Monopoly, Mouse Trap, Clue, fucking CANDY LAND, HOLY SHIT I FORGOT WE HAD THIS ONE!" 

Eddie only smiled at the overexcited Richie, who was quickly opening up the box and setting up the game on the carpeted floor. He noticed that Richie didn't mention his parents, and he realized that he probably didn't want to, so he sat on the opposite side of the board, helping set up the game. 

"Seriously, Eddie Spaghetti, I didn't even know we had Candy Land! I fucking hate this game, but, like, Princess Frostine is my bitch." Richie laughed and pointed a the pink princess at the top of the game board.

Eddie smiled and chuckled softly at Richie, ''She's a fictional character from a board game, Richie..." Eddie smiled and Richie's head shot up like he was being personally offended.

"That doesn't mean she cant be my bitch!" He shouted with a smile. 

"No, but I think she has some chemistry going on with this guy." Eddie pointed at Lord Licorice and chuckled a bit when Richie made a wounded noise. 

"What? Now way Princess Frostine would be fucking Lord Licorice!" Richie shouted a bit louder than Eddie expected, causing both boys to break out into hysterical laughter. 

"It doesn't matter, Rich, let's just play the game." Eddie sighed sarcastically and flashed a joking smile, looking down at the game and starting to play. 

For hours the two sat there, playing all of the board games in Richie's collection, laughing and knocking over the Mouse Trap set up one too many times, until neither of them could keep their eyes open. Eddie almost fell onto the game board he was so tired, reaching to grab the dice and roll one more time to finish the game before Richie said something. 

"Eds, let's go to sleep, you've almost just fallen on the board, and replacing Mouse Trap pieces is a bit of a hassle." Richie chuckled and Eddie looked up at him with half-lidded eyes and a lazy smile. 

"Yes please." Richie let out a laugh and picked up the board games, putting everything back before standing and stretching, holding a hand out for Eddie to take. Eddie did, letting Richie help him off the floor, still smiling softly. "You can take the bed, Eds." 

Eddie frowned a bit at that, looking at Richie, "Where are you gonna sleep then?" 

"The floor is a fine place, if I've got a pillow and a blanket, I can fall asleep anywhere!" Richie smiled wide and grabbed a pillow off his bed. Eddie shook his head a bit. 

"Sleeping on the floor is bad for your neck and back, Richie." Eddie mumbled a bit, watching him move around the bed and grab a blanket. 

"There ain't no where else for me to sleep, spaghetti." Richie chuckled and tossed the blanket and pillow onto the floor next to his bed, going over to the light switch. Eddie still stood by the bed, frowning at Richie. 

"But it's not good for you. Just sleep on the bed." Eddie rubbed the back of his neck, realizing how much of a dork he sounded like almost as soon as the words left his mouth.  _Shit. Nice one, Eddie. Fucking dingus._

"We can just share the bed, it's big enough for, like, six Eddie's so I'm pretty sure one Eddie and one Richie would take up less than half of it." Riche joked, looking over at Eddie, who wore a strange expression. 

"Isn't that weird? You really wanna share a bed with... me?" Richie felt his heart break when Eddie's insecurities shone through his words, filling the room and making it hard for Richie to breathe. 

"I don't mind at all, Eds." Richie flashed him a smile and picked up he pillow and blanket, putting them back on the bed, then going over and turning off the light. 

The two boys got in the large bed, and Richie almost instantly heard the little snores coming from Eddie's side. He smiled softly, content n the moment, but he felt like there was a magnet attached to his chest, and the other magnet was attached to Eddie's back. He felt like he could be so much more content if he wrapped his arms around Eddie and held him as he slept, but for now, he'd have to be content enough with the smaller boy on the other side of the bed. 

Richie's last thought of the night was about It, and how he just wanted It to leave Eddie alone. 

But losers don't get what they want. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to have more parts! I've decided to try out writing a full story, maybe around ten chapters? I'll still let people know when I plan on updating, and let me tell you guys, there is going to be some angst coming up!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His thoughts were now diminished to Richie, Richie, how he thought his back bike tire was flat, and more Richie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ  
> Remember that this story is entirely fiction, and please take note that in this, Eddie does NOT refer to his pills as fake, (placebos, gazebos) but he does strongly believe that they are. Just a lil foreshadowing...

Richie thought a lot about the events that played out only two weeks ago, his mind constantly plagued with the memories, dreams always plagued with the nightmares, but he mainly thought about what would have happened if something happened to Eddie. Something worse than breaking his arm, more like being kidnapped and fucking devoured by an evil clown. That thought terrified him more than the clown did, and he slowly came to the realization that It had given him a new worst fear - losing Eddie.  
  
Losing Eddie became a common nightmare that made Richie wake up close to tears, hands gripping the sheets like they were the fabric of Eddie's shirts, begging It not to take him. He thought about it for hours after the nightmare happened and mapped out almost every way that it could happen in his mind, making mental notes to keep extra watch over Eddie when they went to certain places.  
  
But Richie didn't think about losing him, or think about the memories of IT when he saw Eddie in the morning, his face scrunched up in the middle of a yawn, eyes still closed. "Eds, it's like, 12:30."  
  
Eddie's brown eyes snapped open and he quickly sat up, still looking half asleep, "How did we sleep this late? Mom's gonna kill me!"  
  
"Hey, she's not gonna kill you. You still look half asleep, let yourself wake up a bit before you start scrambling to leave." Richie chuckled and sat back against the headboard of the bed, closing his eyes but not falling asleep.  
  
"I was supposed to go home last night, and I stayed here with you without telling her where I was going. She probably called the police and reported me missing!" Eddie stressed, running his hand through his brown hair and messing it even more. Richie shrugged a bit, cracking one eye open and smiling softly, "You're right, actually."  
  
Eddie only groaned and collapsed back on the bed, putting his hand over his eyes, ''I'm still tired and I don't fucking understand how." But Eddie really did know how. He hadn't slept for three days before last night, scared of the night terrors he got when he did sleep, but last night he didn't get any. He didn't know why, but sleeping in Richie's bed, knowing that the other boy was less than two feet away from him, made him feel safe. It made sleep easier and dreams calmer, and the thought of that vaguely horrified him.  
  
Eddie knew he had some sort of crush on Richie, hell, he knew he had a crush before he knew he was gay, but he didn't know the extent of his feelings towards the other. He figured it was just a schoolgirl crush, thinking that Richie was so attractive no matter what he did, but he wondered. He wondered if it was more than that when he felt Richie's hands on his face in the house on Neibolt street, when the clown was terrorizing them and Richie was focusing on getting him to calm down. He wondered if it was more than a silly schoolgirl crush when he got tingles from the feeling.  
  
Eddie knew that Richie was aware of all his weaknesses and fears now, and the thought that someone could know so much about him would usually scare the shit out of him, but he felt safe. He felt safe knowing that Richie knew his fears.  
  
"Well, have you been sleeping?" Richie asked, his tone light, but there was darkness behind the question, making Eddie shiver slightly.  
  
"Not really. Ever since I saw It again I-" Eddie cut himself off with a sharp intake of breath, not wanting to freak himself out again.  
  
"That's probably why. How about we go over to your house and see if your mom is okay with you staying over again tonight? You seemed to sleep well last night, I didn't wake up to any distressed screams." Richie spoke slowly, sleep still in his voice. Eddie nodded a bit, realizing how right Richie was in that moment.  
  
"Yes, please." Eddie smiled softly and sat up again, trying to pat down his wild hair.  
  
-  
  
After what seemed like hours of trying to convince Mrs.Kaspbrak, she finally gave up trying to fight with her son, and let him go to Richie's. Eddie was surprised that his mom gave in, but they didn't have school for two more weeks, and he figured that was one of the reasons she said yes. 

"Eds! Let's ride around a bit before we go back, its kinda boring at home." Richie suggested, smiling at Eddie as hell got on his bike. 

"Where to?" Eddie looked over, now on his bike with one foot on the ground keeping him steady. Richie seemed to think about it for a minute. 

"Wanna ride down to the quarry?" Richie asked, brushing his hair back from his forehead and Eddie felt his heart swell. He nodded in responce, and the two took off towards the quarry.

Eddie felt caught up in his thoughts, his mind drifting back and forth between Richie, It, and when he had to take his medicine (fuckin gazebos). He wondered if Richie ever thought about him like he thought about Richie. If Richie ever stayed up late at night, leaving out his window to feel the breeze on his face, mind captivated by him.

Then he wondered about when It would come back. If Richie's mind was captivated by him late at night, Eddie's mind was just as captivated by It. Would It ever show itself again to the others? Or did it only want Eddie? Did it only want one more prey before it settled back down into hibernation for 27 years, or did it want seven? The thought of It killing his friends made shivers go down his spine. The thought of It killing Richie made him want to vomit. 

And last but not least, he thought of the box that weighed down his fanny pack, the box that rattled with almost every step he took. The pills his mom made him take making him feel like his fanny pack was filled with rocks instead of pills and a first aid kit. He hated the thought of living his whole life taking them, but it was even worse for him to think of life without them.

He figured that something must be legitimately wrong with his lungs, otherwise he wouldn't struggle with breathing on almost a daily basis, but he honestly didn't know what the other pills were even for. He wanted to stop taking them ages ago, but he'd never heard his mother beg him to do something so intensely, so he continued to take them. He hated them, though. 

And his thoughts would bounce back and forth in his mind for hours on end if he was alone, but he was with Richie. His thoughts were now diminished to Richie, Richie, how he thought his back bike tire was flat, and more Richie. Richie and his dorky smile, thick glasses, and unbuttoned snazzy button ups. 

"Eddie spaghetti? You there?" Richie chuckled and Eddie realized he'd been zoning off. 

"I'm here, Richie, just thinking." Eddie said and forced a smile, making Richie smile. 

And, god, did Eddie want to see more of Richie's genuine smiles.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teen boys were meant to have fun and enjoy their summers, not fear for their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the nasty starts up again (:

Teen boys were meant to have fun snd enjoy their summers, not fear for their lives, but when Richie saw Eddie with his back pressed up to a tree and It opposite of him, coming closer with it teeth bared, he was definitely fearing for his life. He didn't know how it happened so quickly, he'd just gone to piss a little bit away from Eddie when he heard a frightened shout and the sound of leaves crunching under heavy footsteps. 

And now Eddie's eyes shone bright with fear and It's intentions were deadly, and both boys feared for their lives. "Fuck off, you Stupid clown!" Richie let out a shout, wildly grabbing a nearby branch and smacking it on It's head, making the clown jerk its head up at bare it's teeth at him instead. "We're not scared of you!"

"Beep beep, Richie." It seemed to smirk darkly, looking back over at Eddie, who's breathing was heavy and hands were shaking. "Lover here has a bit of fear. A bit more than you'd expect. Not so strong, are you, gay boy? Can't even pretend to be strong when our little crush is here?"

Eddie gagged a bit, not at the thought of his crush on Richie, but the thought of It knowing that Eddie had one, and It fucking told him. He felt physically sick, his stomach churning as he gasped for air, but he felt like his lungs were just filling with lead.  

"Eddie, don't let it scare you, we beat it once, we can do it again!" Richie shouted. Richie who didn't have a serious bone in his body was being serious. 

Eddie tried to not be terrified as his nightmares became real, the clown standing over him again, staring him down again, fucking scaring him again. He wanted to get away and go back to Richie's house. He wanted to be with Richie. But the terror seemed to over take him, the nightmare became real, and suddenly it was all too much for him.

And Richie knew that he wouldn't be able to fight back as he watched his nightmares become reality right on front of him. He hated seeing Eddie so terrified. It made him shiver, the smaller boy desperately trying to get air in his lung's made Riche's chest burn. 

So Richie decided to do it for him, grabbing at the branch again, and smacking at the clown, eyes squeezed shut as he swung it like a bat. He didn't even know if he was doing anything to damage It, but he had to try something. And his something seemed to work, because when he opened his eyes, It was gone. 

It was gone and Richie silently let himself be proud of himself. He felt as if he finally did something right, he finally made the right choice, and he finally made a difference, because now It was gone, and the only sounds were the birds chirping, heavy breaths, and a mixture of wheezing and sobbing. 

"Eddie!" Richie shouted, getting down on his knees next to the wheezing boy, hands shaking for a minute before he realized what he had to do. He fished the inhaler out of Eddie's fanny pack, putting it to his lips and pulling the trigger but it didn't work. Eddie continued to wheeze, the boy looking like he could pass out at any moment. Richie started panicking. "Eddie, why isn't it working!" 

Eddie felt tired, so tired of trying so hard to fill his lungs with air but to no avail. He felt about ready to give up, but Richie looked fucking panicked that scared him. Richie was rarely ever serious, but here he was, searching Eddie's fanny pack desperately for something that would fix this. 

  
"Eddie, you need to go to a hospital, you need serious help!" Richie stressed, looking around at all the contents of the fanny pack strewn about the ground. Eddie seemed to panic even more at this, shaking his head. "Please, Eds, I don't know how to fix this!"  
  
Richie felt like It did this on purpose, to get to Richie's fears as well as Eddie's, to make them both scared. It wanted them both, and Richie wasn't not letting that happen today. Him and Eddie being taken was not in his book, and he knee if they stayed there any longer, they'd be the next two faces on midding posters.

And Richie wasn't having that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALSO I CHANGED A L O T ABOUT EDDIE, OKAY?  
> In this, Eddie's illness(es) are real, and he actually need his inhaler and his medicine, but he doesn't understand why because his mother never told him. In this chapter, his major problem is caused because he has not been taking his medicine properly, like he's been skipping doses. I'm sorry if you guys didn't want this to stray so far from the original, but I just wanted to make Eddie as fragile as I can bc little Eddie and tougher Richie is what I'd die for.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Eddie, you fucking dumb ass."

It didn't take Richie too long to figure out his best option in taking Eddie to the hospital, but he hated the wait. He hated sitting in that room, surrounded by the sterile smell and sad looking family, until the doctors would come out and tell him what's happening. He wanted to be in the other room with Eddie, holding his hand while the doctors did their tests, because he knew Eddie wouldn't want the doctors touching him. 

"Eddie Kaspbrak?" A loud voice at the front of the room called, and Richie stood so fast he almost fell over. The doctor eyed him for a few moments before gesturing for him to cone over. Richie follower the doctor, who stopped outside of what he assumed was Eddie's room. "It seems that he hasn't been taking his medicine like he's mean to. Skipping doses of the kind of medicines he takes isn't good, okay? Whoever he's with most of the time is going to have to remind him. I'm not really supposed to be telljng you this because you're not his mother, but you deserve to know. You can go in with him while we call his mother and have her come over." 

Richie was too stunned to speak, only nodding and going into the room, his heart feeling like it was about to break when he saw Eddie in the hospital bed. "Eddie, you fucking dumb ass." 

Eddie looked over and chuckled a bit, shaking his head at Richie. "I'm not dead though." The sentence hung in the air. 

"Eddie, you're in a fucking hospital bed, hooked up to wires, and you're just going to say that you're not dead?" Richie sat in a chair by the smaller boy's bed, looking at him. 

"If I use humor to pretend that I'm anywhere but here, I won't freak out because I'm surrounded entirely by nothing but disease, needles, and hospital smell." Eddie closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair, sighing. 

"Eddie, you haven't been taking your medicine like you're supposed to. Your mom is going to kill you. " Richie frowned a bit, taking in the seriousness of the situation. Eddie opened his eyes and looked up at the ceiling. 

"They're not real anyway, Rich." He mumbled, his hands fisting the sheets as he bit his lip. He hated talking about his medicine. 

"Yes they are, Eddie, otherwise you wouldn't be in the hospital right now. " Richie frowned, wondering what made Eddie think they weren't real. Maybe it was just Eddie being paranoid. 

"Then what are they for? Exactly. I'm not on them for any reason." Eddie frowned, getting uncomfortable. Medicine was a touchy subject for him, thinking back to the mean girl in the pharmacy, and the dark, black letters written on his cast. 

Before either of the boys knew it, Sonia Kaspbrak was in the room, hurrying over to her son and frowning even deeper than she was when she entered the room. "Oh, Eddie!" She cried, and Richie could've sworn he saw Eddie flinch. 

Richie frowned at that, wondering what really went down behind closed doors at the Kaspbrak's, but he knew with a mother so horrified of her little boy getting sick, it couldn't have been too bad, right? It was probably just Eddie being scared of the memories of It.

Sonia stayed in the room, scowling at Richie, until the doctor came back in to talk to her. They made Richie leave so they could have a privet conversation, and the thought made him feel sick.

Eddie expected a long lecture about taking his medicine more properly, but instead, he was met with a(nother) new pill bottle. "It's COPD and Cystic Fibrosis, Eddie." 

Eddie swallowed thickly, realizing they were finally telling him what was actually wrong with him, telling him why he had to take his medicine, and now instead of three pills a day, it was four. He didn't want to take them, but knowing why he had to make him more at peace with the situation.

"Mom, I'm sorry, I-" Eddie was cut off by sharp words that made his heart clench, made his body freeze.

"Stop talking, Eddie, I'm talking to someone important and I need to hear what he has to say." Her words were firm, and it shouldn't have bothered him so much when she said it, but the tone of her voice reminded him of the harsh words thrown about at home. 

He wanted to go back to Richie's, not back home, but he knew that his mom wouldn't be letting him leave the house for a while. His heart ached with the thought of being alone, without his friends, stuck in a house with his mother, unable to sleep. He felt sick again suddenly, squeezing his eyes shut and letting out a soft whimper. He wanted Richie. He wondered if his mom would ever let him leave his house again. 

"Eddie, come on. We're going home." Her words were firm again, and Eddie felt himself tremble. 

"Wh-what about Richie?" He asked softly, worrying his lower lip. 

"Oh. You won't be talking to Richie again, Eddie, he's a bad influence on you." She spoke smoothly, picking up her purse. 

Eddie's already wide eyes started to fill with tears, words getting caught in his throat for a moment before they came out, "Wh-what? No, mommy, please! Richie's my best friend, you can't take him away!" He cried, tears spilling now. He watched his mom turn up her nose a bit, looking away from her son. 

"Stop crying, Eddie." She mumbled and waited for the doctor to do whatever before they could leave. "We're going home, and you're not going to talk to that Tozier boy again."

And Eddie felt his heart break as all his fears really did start to become a reality. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY SO  
> In this chapter, It's implied that there is some kind of abuse going on at Eddie's house, and i'm going to clear it up down here. EDDIE'S MOM IS N O T PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE, However, She is emotionally abusive. She tells Eddie that he has no friends and that she's all he has, as well as telling him that he needs to look better and eat more/less. She strives to see perfection in her son, and she goes about trying to live her life through her son. I might have a later chapter where it goes more in detail in the actual story about what Sonia says to Eddie, but for now, this is all.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her words made themselves at home in his mind, curling up in the corner with the rest of her hateful sentences that he could never forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is sad, plus I KNOW THEY DIDN'T ACTUALLY MAKE A TREEHOUSE, GUYS.

Eating dinner with your mother shouldn't be a task that seems nearly impossible, but for Eddie Kaspbrak, it was. He hadn't even left his bed in two days since he's been sent home from the hospital, he'd heard nothing about Richie, and he'd ignored his mother's desperate attempts to get him to eat dinner, but tonight was different. He felt sick in a unique little way, like eating would be too much for him if he did it, but not eating would just make him actually sick, and he felt caught in-between ignoring everything he needed, staying in bed and eating half the fridge, showering, and taking his medication on time. 

Eddie had been spending the days trying to think of how good his life was for the first three hours in the morning, then his thoughts slowly started to slide downhill when he really thought about everything going wrong. He caught himself up in his mind, completely missing his beeping alarm that told him to take the pills (which he now had to take three times a day instead of two) and the kid wouldn't notice the alarm was beeping for probably an hour. He wished he didn't have to hear the beeping, the annoying sound from the watch settles on his wrist drove him crazy until he managed to take his medicine and turn it off. 

But it was different when his mom called his name for dinner. He seemed to instantly snap out of his thoughts, whole body tensing up and head shooting up towards the door. He thought about ignoring it again, keeping his door locked so he wouldn't have to face the woman that took his only friend away from him, but he knew he needed to eat. He couldn't let himself wallow in sadness for the rest of his life. 

All the thinking he'd been doing in his room for the two days he was up there made him realize things that he never really wanted to admit to himself, and he found himself slowly coming to terms over the 48 hours that all those things were real, and they were happening, and maybe it was his sleep-deprived mind yelling at him, but he knew now what was real. But he'd have to sit at a table with his mother now, and he knew that she was mad. 

He took his time leaving his room, patting down his wild hair to make himself look less like a train wreck. He wondered how long he could take before his mother would call for him again, but he didn't feel like testing it out as he made his way to the dining room that was connected to their kitchen, sitting in his usual chair on the opposite side of the table from his mother's seat. He felt nervous as he thought over all the ways he could say what he was planning on telling her, his mind darting back and forth between all the options, taking an occasional pitstop at the "what if she doesn't accept me" point in his mind. 

He stared at the plate in front of him and thought about exactly how many bites of food was in front of him, desperately trying to keep his mind off of things, but Ms. Kaspbrak decided to speak. 

"Eddie, I know I've told you before to stay away from that Tozier boy." Her words were firm, and they made Eddie flinch, his eyes watering slightly, "You know that he doesn't really like you, Eddie. He's only your friend out of pity, they all are. They're not really your friends, only I will always be here for you, Eddie, I'm your only friend. You'll never make any other friends other than me." 

Her words made themselves at home in his mind, curling up in the corner with the rest of her hateful sentences that he could never forget. He felt like he was about to be sick, swallowing thickly and looking down. He wondered how many of his mother's words were true and how many weren't. 

It felt even harder to breathe that day when he started to think she was right about his friends, that they were only his friends because he was sick. He closed his eyes and tried to block out the rest of her words, hands shaking as he held onto a fork. 

"Eddie, you need to eat a little less, you're getting a bit chubby, and you don't want to become overweight. You're meant to be 114 pounds, dear." Her bitter words etched their way into his head and he wanted to die again. He just wanted to be away from the harsh words and the lies and the fucking weight comments, and he didn't know any other way to do it. He thought that if his friends really didn't like him, if Richie really didn't like him, he was truly alone in this.

Being alone in this didn't make him want to tell his mother how he really felt about Richie. He felt like he needed to tell her what he really felt, but fear just bubbled up in his stomach, making him feel like he was about to explode. He put his fork down, and ran his hand through his hair for what felt like the millionth time. 

"M-mom, I have to tell you something," He swallowed thickly, deciding he needed to tell her now or he'd never do it again, "I-I think I love Richie." He regretted it almost as soon as the words left his mouth, and the nervousness just got worse, tumbling around him his stomach. 

His mother's eyes widened and her mouth opened and closed a few times before her expression turned unreadable. As much as Eddie had already noted, he seemed to be getting more and more horrified of what she was going to say, his hands had gone back to shaking.

"Go to your room." Her words were sharp a firm, and Eddie felt his heart break a tiny bit. This was really it - this was his worst fear becoming a reality. This was really what It showed him, and now It's once horrifying nightmare wasn't just a dream. 

He swallowed thickly and shook his head, staring at his mother with a fearful look, "Mommy, please-" 

"I said, Go to your room, Eddie!" She raised her voice and Eddie flinched, looking down like a kicked puppy. His eyes filled with tears and he felt caught up in the thoughts of his nightmares and the time Pennywise cornered him. 

"You're supposed to be there for me!" He shouted back through the tears, holding back desperate sobs as he felt himself slowly losing the only support system he'd had his whole life. No matter how many horrible things Sonia had said and done to the boy, he still loved his mother more than almost anything. 

"I won't be until you get over this - this sickness!'' She was yelling now, face nearly red with rage as she banged her fists on the table, making the plates and silverware clatter with force. Eddie watched with wide eyes that slowly spilled tears.

"I'm not sick, mom, this is me!" He cried, voice cracking near the end, and he knew he was on the verge of a breakdown. 

"You either go to your room right now and fix yourself, or you can get out of this house." Her words dripped with venom, and when Eddie didn't more, she let out a loud scream, "Now!" 

He scrambled to get up, knocking over his chair and sprinting up the staircase to his room, slamming and locking the door behind him when he finally let out a loud sob, feeling his whole world start to crumble. His mother hated him. His worst fear had become true. He grabbed an empty backpack from under his bed and quickly started stuffing it with his clothes, thinking about how this all could have been avoided if he kept his fucking mouth shut. 

A backpack full of clothes and a smaller messenger bag (filled with his medicine, some comic books, and a wallet filled with all his savings) later, he grabbed them and unlocked his door, opening it and slowly creeping into the hallway and towards the kitchen. He wasn't dumb, he knew he'd need food and water and probably some sort of weapon if he was going out on his own, so he filled the remaining space in his messenger back with bottles of water and bags of chips, snatching the biggest knife he could find out of the cutlery drawer.

In Eddie's mind, he figured he didn't need anyone else, but he didn't know where to go that he wouldn't be found by anyone. He didn't even know if he wanted to stay hidden. His mind settled on his fears as his feet carried him through Derry in the dark, slowly making his way towards the Loser's treehouse that had been made a few summers prior in the middle of the woods.

Maybe if his friends really cared they'd come looking.

But Eddie didn't think so.  


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fuck you and your shitty tree climbing skills, Eddie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY GUYYYSSSS   
> So, on Instagram, I now have an Eddie roleplay account! If you'd like to follow it, it's @Eddie.Kaspbrakk !   
> \ALSO\  
> THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR ALL THE KUDOS AND COMMENTS AND READS, HOLY FUCK! I have this fic up on wattpad (my user is @JackKaspbrak) and I'm so happy and thankful for how nice everyone has been throughout the past six chapters, and let me tell you, there should be many more to come! I want to make this relatively long, and because I'm in a class that requires me to constantly be creative and write, I always have mini prompts in my head that I try to incorporate in this! I hope you guys love this chapter, I felt like Eddie needed some love.

Eddie felt like a dumbass after he'd thrown his bags up into the treehouse, holding the knife firmly in one hand while the other gripped at a branch, getting himself ready to tart climbing up to the house in the tree. He grumbled a bit to himself, realizing how hard it would be to do this one handedly, but throwing a knife into a treehouse would leave him unarmed in the possible case of a wild animal, of Henry Bowers. 

Reaching his other hand up, he tried to hoist himself far enough into the tree to get his foot on a branch and take it from there, which he succeeded in doing, but found himself at a loss of what branch to grab next. The boys hadn't used the treehouse in what seemed like ages, and Eddie was sure he wasn't the only one who forgot how to climb into it. He sighed heavily and struggled to see the branches in the dim moonlight, desperately grabbing at branches and pulling himself up with his scrawny arms. He wished he would've been paying more attention when he put his foot on a branch that wasn't strong enough to hold his weight. 

Falling from the tree seemed to happen fast, and Eddie didn't seem to notice the branches cutting at his exposed skin. _Fuck you and your shitty tree climbing skills, Eddie_ He scolded himself, laying on his back on the ground. He grumbled, being more pissed off and sad than anything else at that moment and pulled himself off, ignoring the burning pain in his ankle that he assumed came from the fall. Gripping the knife tightly in one hand and gripping a tree branch in the other, he tried again. 

After several almost falls, and many cries of pain at the ankle injury, Eddie managed to pull himself into the treehouse, collapsing on the old, wooden ground. He let out a sigh of relief and sat up after he struggled to catch his breath, pulling a water out of the messenger bag and drinking the whole think almost instantly. Climbing trees was hard ass work. 

Eddie decided to try his hardest to keep his head off the dangers of staying in an open tree house in the middle of the woods off his mind, leaning against the wall and putting his bag under his injured foot. He needed sleep, something he hadn't been blessed with in several days, but he knew if he slept, he'd suffer the horrid dreams again. 

Maybe he could keep himself occupied counting the screws in the wood or reading the labels on the food until morning, but Eddie found himself being bored as fuck after the first bag of chips. He wished now more than ever that his friends would come looking for him, but part of him thought they wouldn't. He was out of their hair, and that was what they wanted, wasn't it?

-

Richie paced his room, thinking about all the possible things he could say to Sonia Kaspbrak to let her son leave the house again. Was there really anything that would satisfy the old woman enough for her to let Eddie see him again? Probably not, but Richie was willing to do anything to see his best friend again. He sat down on his bed, pulling on his shoes and slinging his bag over his shoulder, leaving his room. Leaving the house wouldn't be hard, his parents hardly gave a shit about what he did anyway. 

On his bike, Richie thought over his words carefully, peddling to Eddie's house with a determined look on his face. He wasn't going to leave the Kaspbrak's without at least seeing Eddie's face. He needed to know that the other boy was safe. 

He got off and dropped his bike down in the road, rushing to the door and knocking fast. Sonia Kaspbrak opened the door, looking angry. Richie swallowed thickly, clearing his throat a bit, "I need to talk to Eddie, please." 

"Eddie's not here." Her reply was cold and bitter, making shivers run down Richie's spine. He frowned deeply. 

"Where is he then?" Richie sounded defensive, but he was actually vaguely horrified by her reply. Eddie wasn't hope, and he wasn't with any of the losers, which meant he was alone in Derry. 

"I don't know, I don't care. He left last night." And with that, the door was slammed in Richie's face, leaving the panicking boy to stand on the porch alone. The first thing that crossed is mind was  _Which loser lives the closest to here?_

Maybe Eddie didn't want the losers to come looking for him, but it didn't matter to Richie if he wanted it or not. This wasn't an option.  _Bill!_

Richie ran to his bike, almost tripping as he got on it, riding it towards Bill's house and dropping it off in the yard again, knocking wildly on the door. Richie felt like his world was collapsing, and he desperately needed to know that Eddie was okay. Bill's mom opened the door, looking confused, but just opened the door wider when she saw the panicked look on Richie's face. "Come in, Richie, Bill's up in his room." 

Richie nodded and thanked her, out of breath, quickly running up the stairs to Bill's room, swinging his door open and shouting, "Eddie's missing, Bill!" 

Bill shot his head up, eye blown wide, "Wh-what?" He looked confused at the sudden outburst, but Richie didn't have time to care about Bill's confusion when his best friend was missing. 

"Eddie's missing! I went to his house today because I haven't seen him since I took him to the hospital a few days ago and his mom said he left last night and never came back." Richie felt like he was going to die, struggling to catch his breath, and he wondered if this was how Eddie felt during an asthma attack. "Bill, you don't understand. It's still alive, and Eddie is the only one of us that it'[s been terrorizing, which means-" 

"R-Richie, calm down. L-let me call th-the others and w-we-we can talk about what we c-ca-can do." Bill spoke softly, and grabbed the phone on his desk, calling the losers one by one as Richie paced around the room. 

None of the kids knew where to look as they met up outside of Bill's house, all looking equally scared and confused. "Richie, where do you think he's gone?" Mike was the first one to address him. Richie shrugged, gripping his hair in his fist tight and groaning. 

Ben and Beverly stood close to each other, sharing worried glances before Bill told everyone to get on their bikes, "W-we're going to ch-check every place we've e-ev-ever gone as friends before." 

Richie nodded and got on his bike, the others following suit, "The quarry first?" 

And the group biked throughout Derry, desperately searching for their friend, shouting his name. 

-

Eddie's eyes stayed open all night, and looking out the narrow entrance to the treehouse, eating Lay's chips, he found himself bored out of his mind. He couldn't leave the treehouse, not with his hurt ankle, and make it back up without getting himself more hurt, and he silently scolded himself for not bringing something fun to do. 

He thought he was imagining things when he heard a familiar voice shout his name, his head shooting up and his hand freezing, mid chip bite. Surely it was just his mind playing tricks on him, his desperation for someone who cared was getting the best of him, but when he heard Richie's voice shout his name again, closer this time, he forced himself to limp to the entrance, looking for a sign of the other boy. 

"Eddie, please be here!" Richie shouted, coming into Eddie's view, and the boy smiled weakly. 

"R-Richie! Up here!" He called, waving his arm out the treehouse, trying to get Richie's attention. 

"Eddie?! Oh my god, Eddie! How did you- Whatever, just, come down from there!" Richie shouted, and Eddie saw the worried expression on his face. He reached back into the shelter, grabbing his bags and the knife before trying to get down from the treehouse, wincing at the pain in his ankle. 

He made his way down slowly, letting out little whimpers every here and there, before he made it to the ground. Richie rushed over to him and pulled him close, one hand on his lower back and the other on the back of his head, holding him tightly. "Eddie, don't ever do that to us again!" 

Eddie wrapped his arms around Richie, feeling a warmth spread throughout his body. He smiled weakly despite the situation, nuzzling his face into Richie's neck and breathing in his scent. "I-I'm sorry, Richie, I didn't know what to do..." 

"What happened to you, Eds?" Richie sounded sad, pulling away from Eddie enough to put his hands on either side of Eddie's face, looking into his eyes. 

"I-I don't want to tell you here... can I maybe stay with you for a while?" Eddie asked shyly, 

"Of course, Eddie Spaghetti. The other losers are around, we gotta catch up to them." Richie held out his hand for Eddie to take, but Eddie bit his lip. 

"How much walking is that?" He asked quietly, remembering the horrid pain in his ankle. Richie's face instantly became concerned again and Eddie wished he didn't mention it. 

"Are you hurt?" Richie asked him, looking at the cuts on his arms and legs from when he fell, "God, Eds..." 

"I fell climbing the tree, I hurt my ankle pretty bad.." Eddie mumbled, looking down. 

"Well, then Piggyback it is!" Richie cheered, getting down enough for Eddie to hop onto his back. Richie hoisted him up, easily carrying the smaller boy, who's arms wrapped around his neck. 

Eddie could so get used to this. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie and Eddie talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a semi - fluffy chapter before the angst starts up again.

Eddie's eyes slipped closed at some point, feeling Richie's larger hands of the back of his legs to keep him up on his back. He was exhausted, day four of no sleep seeming to drag on. He didn't want Richie to know how long it'd been since he last slept, he didn't like making the other boy worry. 

His arms were still wrapped around Richie's neck, face buried between his cheek and his arm. He felt safe, not wanting to get off Richie's back, but when he felt Richie's hands move and him get down, Eddie frowned and slid off his back. His eyes were open now, and he was suddenly surrounded by the rest of the losers, all showing concern on their faces. 

"Eddie, are you okay? What happened?" Stan asked, eyes wide with a fearful look on his face. Eddie looked down, putting his weight on his good foot and setting down his bags. "Mom kicked me out." 

His words were quiet, coming as a shock to the whole group. Richie frowned the deepest, grabbing Eddie's hand in an act to comfort him. He rubbed these little circles on the back of his hand, making Eddie's stomach do flip-flops. 

"She kicked you out?! Oh, Eddie, you know you could've just come to mine and I would've let you in!" Richie frowned, looking down at Eddie. Eddie shrugged a bit, feeling uncomfortable. 

"Can we talk about something else? Please?" He asked quietly, still looking down at his feet. He kicked at the dirt a bit, biting his lip. 

"Of course. How about we all hang out today?" 

"S-sounds good!"

-

As much as Eddie had fun with his friends, he really just wanted to sleep. To hell with nightmares and fearing sleep, of all things. He'd rather suffer nightmares for the rest of his life than go another night without sleep. His friends noticed, seeing the bags under his bloodshot eyes and feeling horrible for what their friend was going through. 

He knew that even though he had an amazing, fun day with his friends, he'd have to stay in the treehouse again and struggle to shut his eyes without the paranoia of hearing things all around him. He knew that time would come faster than he wanted, even though his day felt long. 

"I'll see you guys later, it's getting dark." Mike was the first to leave, getting on his bike and peddling away, then Ben and Beverly, leaving Bill, Stan, Richie, and Eddie sitting on the rocks by the quarry. 

"Eds, you ready to go?" Richie mumbled after about an hour. The sun had set, leaving the four boys in blue, dim light. Eddie looked up at him, confused, making a small noise of confusion, which caused Richie to raise his eyebrows, "You ready to go home? It's late, and I kinda want to have dinner.''

"With me?" Eddie asked, still confused. Richie let out a loud laugh, confusing Eddie even more. 

''Of course with you, I'm not going to let you live in a fuckin' tree house, Spaghetti." Richie chuckled, grabbing Eddie's Messenger bag and pulling is bike off the ground, propping it against a tree. "Bill and Stan, We'll see you in a while." 

Eddie hesitantly got up, limping over to Richie and putting on his backpack. Richie kneeled down a bit again, waiting for Eddie to get on his back. "Come on, Eds, we don't have all day." He chuckled a bit. 

"It doesn't hurt you back?" Eddie asked softly, looking nervous to get on Richie's back. Richie shook his head. 

"Not at all, you weigh, like, nothing." And Eddie got on Richie's back, the familiar feeling of Richie's strong hands on his legs making him smile as he wrapped his arms around Richie's neck again, resting his chin on his shoulder. 

Bill and Stan mumbled their goodbyes as Richie walked off, holding Eddie up with one hand and his bike with the other. Eddie felt about ready to fall asleep then and there, cuddled against Richie's back comfortably. 

The walk to Richie's house didn't seem to fast or too long, it seemed fucking right, and as simple as it was, Eddie found comfort in the normality of it. He let Richie put him down, instantly shifting his weight to his good foot. Richie smiled weakly and put Eddie's bags down in the corner of his room, running a hand through his long curls. 

"What'cha want for dinner, Eds?" He asked, jumping onto his bed and letting it bounce him a bit before sitting up and looking at the smaller boy. Eddie shrugged and limped to the bed, sitting down on the edge of it. He didn't care if it was invasive, he just wanted to get off his foot, still feeling pain even if he wasn't standing directly on it. 

"So, you mean to imply that the All-mighty Richie can pick whatever? Ramen." Richie grinned and moved himself to be next to Eddie, who let out a laugh at Richie's words. 

"Ramen? Really?" Eddie looked at him, a grin on his face, eyebrows raised. Richie nodded fast, his curls bouncing on his head and he flashed Eddie a wide smile, showing his teeth. Eddie smiled too, the smile on Richie's face making his stomach do the flip flop thing again.

"Yes, really! We need all the comfort food in my kitchen, and ramen is number one on my list!" Richie grinned and got up, getting down for Eddie to get on his back again, which he instantly did. 

"You know, we could probably do something about my ankle instead of just having me get in your back whenever we move." Eddie pointed out, only to be shushed by Richie. 

"What's the fun in that?" He chuckled, setting Eddie down at the dining table that was on the other side of the kitchen. Eddie smiled, watching Richie rush to the kitchen, opening up cupboards and pulling out tons of things. "Time for some bomb ass Ramen. It's better than normal ramen, Eds, trust me."

Eddie just watched him, hoping the adoration on his face wasn't too obvious. He smiled when Richie made comments here and there. The food was done before he knew it, seeing Richie turn the heat off and start putting it in bowls for them. 

"As much as I'd love to just eat good ramen with you and avoid all of life's problems, I think you should tell me why your mom kicked you out, considering you're going to be staying here." Richie spoke after a few minutes of the two eating, Eddie shoving food into his mouth like there was no tomorrow. 

Eddie looked up with a mouthful of food and nodded, quickly chewing and swallowing. "Well, she was really mad to begin with because of the whole hospital thing.. I wasn't allowed to leave the house, and I generally stayed in my room and didn't do anything for two days, and when I went down to have dinner with her last night," He swallowed thickly, ignoring the tears that filled him eyes, "I told her I was gay... Richie she told me I had to go to my room or leave, she didn't accept me." His voice broke, hand flying up to cover his mouth as the tears started to flow freely, small sobs escaping his lips. 

Richie stood quickly and went to him, hugging him tightly, sitting in the chair next to him and pulling him onto his lap, still holding him close. "Shh, it's okay, Eds, I'm here, she's not here anymore, you're okay." Richie felt awkward, not being very good with comforting people, but Eddie felt at home in his arms, melting against him and crying into his shirt. 

"M-my worst fear is r-real, Richie.." Eddie cried, fisting the fabric of Richie's shirt in his small hands. Richie rubbed his back gently, trying to calm the boy down before he had an asthma attack. 

"It's gonna be okay." And the two stayed like that for a few minutes before Richie mumbled, "The Ramen is getting cold." And Eddie let out a laugh, getting of Richie's lap slowly and going back to the food.

-

With all the ramen gone, the two boys retreated back to Richie's room, changing into more comfortable clothes before getting into the big bed, Richie on his side, and Eddie on the other. Eddie wanted nothing more than to roll over and let Richie wrap his arms around him, hold him close and comfort him as he slept, but he doubted there would be a day when Richie ever knew about his feelings. 

But Richie's half asleep form rolled over, wrapping one arm around Eddie, the other resting under him as the two were on their sides, facing each other. Eddie's face heated up, a blush covering from the tips of his ears down his neck, and Richie smiled lazily. He moved himself closer to Richie, cuddling up to the stronger boy and smiling wide. 

From their position, cuddled close to each other, Eddie could hear Richie's heartbeat, and Richie could feel the warmth radiating off the smaller boy, and both were the most content they'd been in a while as smiled crept their ways onto the boys' faces.

And for the first time in days, Eddie slept. (And he didn't have nightmares)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing this late as fuck on a school night, so I'm sorry if it's sloppy. A bit of Reddie fluff that I know you'll all love before the angst begins again.

Waking up next to Richie was something Eddie expected to happen, but waking up wrapped in Richie's arms wasn't. The surprise of it didn't make it any less enjoyable, however, Eddie only cuddling a little closer seeing as Richie was still sound asleep. Eddie smiled, admiring the light freckles on Richie's nose, the way his dark, curly hair flopped onto his forehead, and how his mouth hung open slightly as he slept, letting out cute snores.

His heart warmed at the sight, but he closed his eyes again, desperate for more sleep, and tucked his head against Richie's chest, sighing happily. The beat of Richie's heart was oft in his ear, soothing him into sleep once again, until he felt the arms around him move. Richie mumbled something about the time, Eddie feeling his chest rumble slightly with his words. 

"Eds, it's one PM." Richie's sleepy voice spoke into his hair, and Eddie just now noticed that Richie hadn't made an effort to move away, only got closer. 

"So? Can we have a lazy day?" He asked, sleepily closing his eyes again, breathing in the scent of Richie's shirt and smiling softly. 

"Of course, time to watch shitty horror movies that aren't even scary!" He cheered, but didn't pull away. 

The two boys stayed like that, cuddled together on the bed, breathing evenly and small smiled on both of their faces, for another hour before Eddie heard Richie mumble something about having to pee. "I'll be right back."

And Eddie was momentarily left alone with his thoughts about Richie again. The other boy had captivated all his attention, everything he did making Eddie feel all giddy and happy. It scared him, made him worry that Richie didn't feel the same, and it scared him even more knowing that he'd never have the guts to up and tell Richie how he felt. The thought of losing Richie because he had a crush on him made him feel sick. Losing your best friend was the worst thing. 

When Richie came back ten minutes later, he had an armful of snacks, grinning wildly as he put them down on the floor a few feet away from the end of the bed in front of the T.V. "We need drinks, and movies." He grinned, going over to Eddie and letting him get on his back again.

"Still sticking to the shitty horror movie idea?" Eddie asked when Richie put him down in front of their movie collection, a large rack filled with tons of movies. Richie nodded, his curls bouncing as he did so. 

Eddie smiled and the two picked out the movies they wanted before Richie got Eddie back om his back and went to the kitchen to grab an armful of drinks. "We won't need to leave the room for days with our superior food stockpile." 

Eddie chuckled a bit at his words, but nodded anyway, because Richie was right. They had enough food in there to feel the whole Loser's club. 

"Let's start this shitty horror movie marathon!" Richie cheered and went back to his room, putting Eddie on the bed and setting up an elaborate system of pillows and blankets and comforters on the ground. Eddie smiled, watching Richie perfect every bit of the little blanket nest.

He got up again, helping Eddie over to the set up, and sitting down next to him on the ground. Eddie smiled, "This is actually extremely comfortable." He chuckled, and Richie smiled wide. 

The two boys started in their blanket nest the whole day, only moving to go to the bathroom or to change the movie. Eddie was content, cuddled up next to Richie, surrounded by junk food and comfortable blankets, but the nagging thought of Richie leaving him was still lurking in the  back of his mind. 

"What time is it, Richie?" Eddie asked after several hours of movies and cuddling. Richie looked at his watch and yawned a bit, "It's 12, wanna go to bed? I know we haven't even been up for 12 hours, but we both know we haven't been sleeping." Eddie nodded.

Richie cleaned up a bit, tossing the blankets and pillows back onto the bed and turning off the TV, helping Eddie onto the bed and getting in next to him. "Hey, Eds?" 

"Yeah, Richie?" Eddie asked, looking up at Richie, who'd taken off his glasses.

"I have to tell you something..." Richie swallowed thickly and Eddie frowned, instantly thinking it was going to be bad news. 

"Yeah?" It came out sounding forced, making it's way out of Eddie's mouth too many seconds after he'd wanted it to. 

"I- I think I like you." He looked into Eddie's now wide eyes, biting his lip softly. 

"Wait, really? Like, you're not pranking me or some shit?" Eddie swallowed, not being able to believe it. What he'd been so horrified of -- rejection -- was now something he didn't have to worry about and the thought of that made him ecstatic. 

"Of course I'm not, Eds. I'm being serious for the first time in my life." He chuckled weakly and Eddie smiled wide. 

"I like you too, Richie." 

"Really?"

"Really." 

And the two boys didn't have to worry about rejection, or fear, because they had each other, cuddled impossibly close on Richie's bed, hands intertwined. 

And nothing could make them scared now that they had each other. 

Right?


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie has a bad dream and the Losers needed to devise a plan to destroy the fucking clown once and for all.

Eddie knew that sleeping that night wasn't a good idea before he even closed his eyes, even though the warmth of Richie's arms wrapped around him made him feel comfortable and happy. He had this sinking feeling in his stomach that would go away no matte how much cuddling with Richie was going on, and it made him shake. 

"Eds, you gotta sleep." Richie's voice was tired, sounding sort of gravely as a gently pet Eddie's hair, pushing it out of his face. Eddie nodded slightly, closing his head and letting Richie's heartbeat slowly lulling him to sleep. 

_"Richie, What are we gonna do about It?" Eddie recognized the voice as Stan's, seeing the group of six kids standing around each other. He was late._

_"We're going to let It get him, you know? It hasn't been fucking with us, he's the weakest, It probably just wants a snack before It disappears for the next twenty seven years." Richie's voice was cold and unforgiving, not the voice that Eddie was used to. It made him feel sick, or maybe that was the words that left his mouth. Either way, Eddie felt ready to vomit into the bushes he stood by, watching the Loser's club minus one talk._

_"E-Eddie's always s-slowed us down." That was Bill, but it didn't sound like Bill. None of them sounded like they were supposed to, and Eddie couldn't move again._

_"He's right." A dark voice spoke rom behind him, making Eddie almost jump, but he couldn't, "You only slowed them down, sick boy."_

_They were all looking at him now, all six of his friends watching as the clown stood behind him, but none of them moved. None of them showed any emotion._

_"You're nothing, Eddie." It's voice danced around him, sounding like it came from every angle around him, making shivers run down his spine. "You don't mean anything to them, and you're just a sick freak in your mother's eyes. You mean nothing to anyone."_

_Eddie saw Bev and Ben smile these sick, twisted smiles, the skin on their faces seeming paler than before._

_"You need more medicine, don't you, Eddie? How about some of these?" Bill's hand opened and what seemed like an endless amount of pills started pouring out of his palm and the same smile started to spread on his face. Eddie wanted to gag._

_"You need help, boy, you should be sent away so you can get it." Stan and Mike were the next ones to smile, and Eddie legitimately couldn't breathe._

_"Your own boyfriend doesn't even care about you."_

_The words stung him, causing a hock to go through his body and make his whole being fill with pain.  Eddie could only watch as Richie Tozier's face grew pale and the sickening smile took over his lips, all his friends staring at him with nothing but those evil smiles and eyes filled with malice._

_It seemed like hours that he was stuck, unable to move, breathe, or scream as his friends didn't do those things either, only stared. The only sound was It's snickering, and the only movement was the red balloons that floated by every so often. Then suddenly, his friends faded away. His friends were gone and the world around him seemed to be disappearing and he could move again, desperately grabbing at tree branches._

_After several moments filled with pure panic, he was alone, sitting on the black ground, surrounded by nothing by blackness. He felt tears on his face, but couldn't bring himself to lift his arms and wipe them away._

_He could only shake, his whole body close to convulsing on the ground. There was nothing, and then there was something on the ground a few feet in front of him. He didn't want to go to the thing, but he found himself standing and walking towards it. A pill bottle and a blank piece of paper._

_"That's the list of people who like you, Eddie." His mother._

_"That's the list of people who want to be your friend." The Losers (minus Richie.)_

_"That's the list of  people who want to date you, Eds." Richie._

_"You're going to float with me, Eddie, aren't you happy?!" Georgie, It by his feet. Eddie screamed._

_The clown shot up, rushing at the small boy and snatching him by his neck, holding him up. Eddie screamed louder than he'd ever screamed before, his whole body convulsing now in the clown's grip. "No, No, NO!"_

_"Oh, Eddie, can't you wait for this to be real?"_

Eddie jolted awake, screaming loud and launching himself out of the bed. He shook violently, backing away from the figure in the bed until his body hit the wall, sinking down to the floor. He let out small whimpers and sobs, rocking himself back and forth on the floor in the darkness. The light switched on and he screamed again in surprise when Richie sat up in the bed. 

His wide eyes stared at Richie as the older boy got off the bed, slowly approaching him, and he only shook his head fast, trying to back himself farther into the corner, desperately trying to fill his lungs with air. "Eddie, It's me. It's Richie, it's okay, you're safe. We're in my room, and I've got your inhaler. You have to let me help you, Eddie, it's okay."

It took several minutes of coaxing before Richie got close enough to the wheezing boy to push the inhaler to his lips, pushing down and filling the boy's lungs with air. Eddie let out a shuddered breath and dropped his head, a soft sob escaping his lips. 

Richie gently wrapped his arms around the smaller boy, pulling him onto his lap and rocking him carefully, letting him sob into his night shirt. They stayed that way for a long while, Richie holding him as he cried, until he couldn't cry anymore. "Let's just go lay down, okay? We don't have to sleep, just gotta get you off the floor and cozy, okay?" Richie spoke softly, and Eddie nodded, still to shaken to speak.

Richie lifted the smaller boy and put him on the bed, instantly getting in next to him and cuddling him close, pulling the blanket over the two. Richie kissed his forehead, and Eddie smiled weakly. "I care about you so much, Eddie spaghetti, you mean so much to me." 

Eddie blushed, really needing to hear those words as he rested his head against Richie's chest, and the two stayed that way until Richie got up late the next afternoon to call Bill. 

"We need to figure out a way to fucking kill this bitch ass, cock sucking, child eating clown."


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ''She hit me!" Eddie cried

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just another sad chapter oops  
> ALSO  
> Please please please do not start shit with me about the pills. Sonia Is obviously fucking insane, which is why she's giving them to Eddie. I know that there probably are no pills that are designed to literally destroy your body, but for the sake of this fic, this work OF FICTION, they exist!

Eddie never wanted to go back to his house. The house he spent his nights wide awake, counting the lines in the small pattern on his ceiling to keep himself occupied. He promised himself that he'd never go back there and have to see his mother again, but here he was, standing at the door, holding his bags. 

 Richie had told him he needed to get the rest of his stuff, seeing as he'd be staying with him for a while, and Eddie nodded slowly, agreeing even though he feared the outcome of going back into his house after what happened a few nights prior. His nerves got the best of him, his hands shaking as he entered his house, seeing no sign of his mother, creeping up the stairs and too his room. 

Packing the rest of the clothes he had in a suitcase he'd only used once, (When his mom took him on vacation to New York City so she could visit her friend) and a few of his mot cherished items incase he ended up never coming back. He almost got rid of the nerves, then he heard the front door slam, and the sound of familiar footsteps going up the stairs. 

The door to his room was open, and suddenly, he felt frozen when his mother's eyes landed on him and the suitcase, instantly narrowing. "Eddie. I see you've come back." 

"I'm leaving, I just came to get my things-" He started to talk, but she cut him off, walking closer to him.

"You're not. You're staying here, and taking your new medicine." Her words were harsh, and Eddie wanted to cry when she pulled a pill bottle out of her purse and started to open it. Eddie couldn't move, frozen in fear just like his dreams as her hand raised towards his mouth, shoving the pills in. "Swallow them." 

Eddie's throat felt tight as he squirmed under her hand, trying to spit them out, but her hand firmly covered his mouth. "Swallow the pills, Edward." She practically growled, and Eddie felt weak, giving in and swallowing the pills in his mouth. He couldn't taste anything but blood, the metal-ish taste filling his mouth from him biting the inside of his cheeks. Tears leaked out of his eyes as his mom pulled her hand away from his mouth. "Three times a day. If you don't take them, I'll find out." 

And she left, slamming his door shut, and he could vaguely hear the door locking behind her as he was left with tear stained cheeks and a bloody mouth. 

- 

Three days he stayed in his house, not speaking, not disobeying, and taking those treacherous pills like a good boy, but every day he felt himself getting weaker and feeling sicker, noticing a rapid change in his motivation and ability to even fucking get out of bed. He thought it was just the sadness making it hard to live his life.

Sonia Kaspbrak didn't feel regret as she watched her son get weaker in front of her eyes, and she knew full well that whatever pills she was shoving down his throat each day weren't doing any good to her son, but she couldn't find it in herself to care. She didn't want her son to be sick, and the pharmacist suggested the pills, and she couldn't say no. She didn't think that the effect of the pills would be watching Eddie lose weight rapidly and lose hours of sleep (not that he slept for more than thirty minutes anyway) but she didn't stop him from taking them. 

He felt himself becoming more and more afraid for his future as time went on. He missed Richie. Richie who promised Eddie he'd wait for him four days ago when Eddie went home to get his things to practically live the rest of his life at Richie's house, considering the fact that his mother had kicked him out. He felt horrible for leaving him, but he had no way to explain to the other boy what was happening. 

"Eddie bear? I need you to come help me with this." His mother's voice was never sweet anymore, only a cold, monotone shell of what it used to be, and every time she spoke, Eddie wanted to plug his ears and cry. He just pulled himself out of his bed, wincing, and made his way slowly to his mother, who stood with some groceries at the front door. "Help me carry to the kitchen please." 

He nodded a bit, lifting the lightest bags are carrying them to the kitchen, putting them down by the fridge and leaning against the counter. He found himself nearly dozing off while standing there for two minutes, waiting for farther instruction, and he realized he really needed to get out of the house and get to Richie's, or he'd be left completely insane with his body becoming more and more of a mess after each dose of the blue pills. 

She was out getting more groceries from the car, his door was open, and he had little time to waste if he wanted to get the fuck out of that hell again. 

It felt repetitive, him grabbing his bags and running out of the house, hearing his mother call at him to come back, but it was different when she followed him, gripping his arm tighter than she'd ever touched him before, making him wince. "You can't leave, Eddie!" 

'You're hurting me!' He wanted to scream, but her grip just tightened as she pulled at him, but he pulled back, and even with the state he was in because of the pills, he managed to free himself from his mother's death grip. His arm was red from where she'd grabbed him, and he was sure the next morning he'd wake up to a nice bruise blooming in that place. 

And there was the slap. The harsh, sharp pain that took away his breath (In the bad way) and left him with wide eyes and a trembling lip. Sonia's eyes widened too at her actions. "Eddie-" 

"I hate you!" He screamed now, his voice echoing in the street, "I hate you so much, I'm never coming back here!" The physical pain was miniscule to the pain in his chest as he ran to Richie's house, tears following freely from his eyes and falling onto a pale cheek and a red one. He felt the bruise starting to form already. 

He pounded on the locked door, feeling like he was about to breakdown, and as soon as the door opened and he saw the familiar, black, curly hair and large glasses, he felt himself collapse against his boyfriend's chest. Sobs wracked his little body as Richie pulled him into the house, grabbing the suitcase and quickly taking him to his room. 

"Oh, fuck, Eds, how did this happen?" Richie's eyes were wide as he saw the red marks on the smaller boy's body, guiding him to the bed and putting the suitcase down, getting in next to his boyfriend. 

"She hit me, Richie!" Eddie cried, and he could practically see the steam coming out of Richie's ears. 

"I'm gonna fucking kill her." But Eddie shook his head, desperately gripping the fabric of Richie's hoodie. "No, don't leave me, please." 

The beg broke Richie's heart, hearing his boyfriend whimper and sob making his heart hurt, and he just pulled him close, holding him against his chest and rubbing his back gently. 

"Tonight we'll just cuddle, but tomorrow we need to talk about this." Richie spoke gently, not moving from his place, and Eddie nodded, cuddling impossibly closer. 

And even at seven PM, Eddie fell asleep in Richie's arms, and didn't dream of evil clowns or disapproving mothers. 

 


	12. AUTHORS NOTE

Okay, this isn't a chapter (duh) but I really needed to post this.

As of right now, and 11:20AM in New York, this story has 13,294 Words, 11 chapters, 21 bookmarks, 100 comments, and 234 kudos, and all I have to say is THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH! 

I'm so happy to see that this many people are enjoying my writing, and I'm personally proud of myself, because I feel like this is one of the best works I've ever created. I'm so happy that everyone is being so nice about this fic, and I can only thank you guys, because this is the most reads and comments and kudos I've ever received. 

I'm also going to take this note to tell everyone that I'd updates ever become slow, t will probably be due to school. I'm a sophomore in highschool and I do get quite a lot of homework, which I usually try to get done before I start to work on my chapters. Each chapter takes me about two or three hours, and I try to update every day, but I have missed a few days and I'm sure I will miss a few in the future. 

I'd love to tell you that there will be an update tonight, but I'm not sure if I'll have my laptop with me, and I'll be rather busy. I might take time later at night to do a bit of it on my phone, but I hate writing on my phone, lol. 

Also, if you guys want to talk to me, or follow me on any social media, my Tumblr is @JackKaspbrak , my Wattpad is @JackKaspbrak , and my instagram is  @finnwolfhardwallpapers ! 

thank you guys so so much for making this story what it is! I wouldn't have continued without all the positive comments, and I'm so thankful for it!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing I do is going to save you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow okay, so I want to make this fluffy again, but before we can get to that, we really gotta get through this whole road block that consists of nightmares, Pills, insane parents, and child eating clowns. After that, we're in the clear for a bit.
> 
> Also, the little bit in this about the hoodie means so much to me. My ex (who was also my best friend) gave me his hoodie when we were dating and I know that I loved the way it smelled, because it made me feel like I was always around him. I still have it, but it's lost it's smell, which makes me really sad. It's a long story, but all I have to say is it means a lot to people when you give them your hoodie, and Eddie's just fuckin happy, and he really just appreciates that hoodie more than anything.

Richie was fucking worried about Eddie. The smaller boy (who, Richie noticed, had gotten way too small for it to be healthy and seemed to have lost quite a lot of weight in the four days he was MIA) seemed to either sleep too much for it to be healthy, or didn't sleep at all, and the two were both scary for Richie to witness. He knew he'd have to do something before he'd have to live his life saying he could kick a clown in the fucking face, but he couldn't save his boyfriend. 

He didn't know how to go across helping the younger kid, but he figured taking fifteen minutes out of his morning to cuddle him and make him feel even the slightest bit safer wouldn't hurt anything. Just fifteen minutes, no more, no less, and then he'd do something. He'd talk to Eddie and ask him what his mother did because as fucked up Eddie was before that night, Richie had never seen him this bad. The kid had purple crescent moons under his dull eyes when they were open, and when they were closed, Richie didn't want to say that he saw them there still. Sleep couldn't reverse the damage, eating couldn't reverse the damage, and he was sure that time traveling and prevenfing the boys from every involving themselves with that monster wouldn't reverse the damage either. 

The whole group of kids were still stuck trying to accept what happened, and when they acceoted it, the thoughts haunted every waking moment, and tortured their moments asleep. Richie swallowed thickly and sat up, letting Eddie stay asleep on the bed, and grabbed some clothes out of his closet. 

"We're gonna kill this thing. Its not going to fuck with us anymore." He mumbled to himself. The plans he'd made with Bill stood strong, and he knew he should've told Eddie and waited a few days to do it, but time wasn't something they had to waste. 

Eddie sat up on the bed, looking exhausted as hell rubbed his eyes with balled up fists. "Richie? What are you doing?" 

As much as Richie would've loved to appreciate his boyfriend's sleepy voice, he couldn't when Eddie looked so weak, for lack of better words. His arms looked skinnier than Richie had ever seen them and he could clearly see his collarbones pressed against his pale skin. 

"We're going to Neibolt with everyone today, Eds, we're going to fucking destroy this piece of shit." Richie sounded cold, anger radiating off his bones. Eddie nodded slightly and Richie tossed one of his large sweatshirts to him. "Here, it's cold out and I don't want you to freeze your ass off." Richie chuckled a bit and Eddie slid the Sweatshit on. It hung off his frame, way too big for him, and Richie wasn't sure if it was from the weight loss or the fact that Richie was definitely a bigger kid than Eddie, but he decided that it looked adorable. 

His anger faded away when Eddie lifted his hands and the sleeves flopped over them, inches of fabric covering his fingertips. He smiled softly and tossed his clothes of the back of a chair in his room, jumping next to Eddie on the bed and smiling. "You look so cute in my hoodie, Eddie Spaghetti." 

Eddie felt his face heat up and he shook his head, smiling. Richie smiled too, kissing Eddie's nose slightly before getting up again. "You know I hate ruining cute ass moments, but we gotta get to clown killing, Eds! I'm not letting that piece of shit fuck with us anymore." And with that, Richie left the room to change. 

Eddie couldn't help but be full of fear and nerves as he changed into different pants keeping Richie's oversized hoodie on and breathing in the scent, smiling softly. It smelled just like Richie, a smell that Eddie felt like he could live in for the rest of his life, and it gave him more comfort than anything. He could only smile as he looked down at it, seeing how big it really was on him, but it was the most comfortable thing he'd ever owned, and he was sure he could live in it. 

He lost track of time letting himself think about the clothing, almost screaming when he noticed Richie smirking in the doorway, "Wow, Eds, I didn't know my hoodie was gonna make you orgasm before I had the chance." He joked, entering the room and grabbing his bag and filling it with a few things that Eddie really didn't care about in tat moment. 

"Sorry, your hoodie is just soooo good with words." Eddie joked, smiling fondly at the taller boy, "I think I might have to date it instead." 

"Oh no, Eds, looks like I gotta take it back then." Richie jokingly reached towards Eddie, who jerked back. "No! Not my one true love!" 

The two boys laughed and Richie slung his bag over his shoulder, wrapping his arm around Eddie's waist before leading him into the kitchen. "We need to eat something before we go, I also hate ruining the mood every fucking time, but I gotta ask about what happened when you went home. I know it's probably touchy because it just happened, but I think talking about it might help." 

Eddie nodded a bit, swallowing thickly and looking down, "Well, I went there to pack, but she showed up in the middle of me being there and came into my room... She had these new pills and she made me take them- she kept her hand on my mouth and I couldn't spit them out and she made me take them three times a day and, Richie, I knew they were doing something to me and it wasn't making me healthy again-" Eddie's voice broke and he looked down, sitting at the table, the happy moments they'd just shared entirely forgotten, "And she came home with groceries and asked me to help and I could barely even lift the bag, Richie." 

He wiped his eyes and Richie hugged him tight, kissing the top of his head and rubbing his boyfriend's back as the younger boy cried, "And I ran upstairs and got my stuff and tried to run away, but she grabbed my arm and kept pulling at me. I got my arm away from her and she slapped me. She just kept telling me I was sick, Richie-" Eddie let out a sob and gripped the fabric of Richie's shirt, an action that seemed all too familiar to the boys. 

"Eds, it's okay, she's not gonna hurt you anymore, I promise." Richie soothed, rocking Eddie gently and kissing the top of his head again. Eddie nodded weakly, and after calming down, he watched Richie make the boys breakfast. "The others should be here soon, they're all gonna meet us here because my parents aren't home." 

And Eddie nodded because everything would be fine after today. 

The clown would be dead, and the boys would be free from their internal personal hells of fear. 

Or at least that's what they hoped for. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much again for making this fic what it is, and for being so nice to me! Also, shout out to the person who followed my Instagram! Thank you sm for the kind words!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow  
> I suck  
> At horror  
> But 13 is supposed to be unlucky...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fucking Reddie for this shit??

Maybe if the boys had showed up a bit earlier they would've gotten some of Richie's bomb ass breakfast sandwiches, but Mike was the last person into the kitchen, and judging by the frustrated groans from Stan, Ben, and Beverly, he wasn't the only one to miss out. 

"How did you not make enough for us all?" Stan groaned, throwing his hands up in the air and narrowly missing Mike's face. 

"We were hungry and you guys took too long! There were seven there at one point in time..." Richie started, looking down at the plate in front of him with a grin. 

"You and Eddie ate six fucking breakfast sandwiches?! What the fuck, guys!" Bev grumbled, sitting at the table and eyeing Richie. Richie shrugged, taking another bite from his sandwich. 

"I mean, I had four. Eddie only had two." Richie pointed out, grinning at Eddie, who just shook his head fondly. "But you guys know where the food is, I don't care what you eat. We need to discuss what we're gonna do about It." 

Stan and Beverly sat at the table, nodding, while Ben and Bill helped Mike get more food from the Tozier's cupboards. "Bill, you just ate a sandwich, why do you need more food?" 

"I-I'm a growing teenaged b-boy, Mike." Bill mumbled, reaching for bowls and pouring cereal into them. The others each took a bowl, pouring milk and sitting down at the table, all eating their food and making small talk before Bev cleared her throat. 

"Mike has a gun, and Bill has a fire poker. I have a razor, what do you have?" She looked over at Richie, who held up his backpack. 

The smirk playing on his face slightly peeved the rest of the losers, who thought he was about to make another joke. "Fireworks." 

"Richie what the fuck?" Stan looked semi pissed off, scowling at him. Richie let out a laugh. 

"No, really, like, if we set the fireworks off, like, on or under him, it would hurt him, right? We gotta at least try." Richie shrugged, taking another bite of his sandwich. 

"He actually has a point." Mike mumbled, giving the others a thoughtful look. 

"Damn right I do, now lets go fucking destroy it!"

-

Even though the boys were absolutely horrified, they walked in a small group to the old house on Neibolt street. Eddie's throat felt tight when he stood on the steps, remembering the events from the last time they were in that house. His arm almost ached with the memories. 

"Richie, I think It knows we're coming." Ben mumbled, looking around all he horrors in the house, sights that were different from the last time, but still eerily similar. Richie felt a shiver go down his spine when he saw a pile of light blue pills next to a scale, and he realized those things weren't meant to fuck with him, but Eddie. 

Eddie's eyes caught on the items moments after Richie's did, and he felt his heart stop beating for a minute. Those fucking pills, the ones that made his whole body ache and his bones feel on fire. The pills that his mothe-Sonia was convinced would get rid of his gayness, like it was a disease. That scale, the same one that sat in the corner of Sonia's bathroom, the one she made him stand on every other day so she could tell him what he should and shouldn't do to fix his weight. 

He felt sick. He felt like he could collapse at any moment, like his knees would just give in and he'd fall again. He felt like he could vomit those sandwiches and cry until he couldn't lift himself up, but Richie's arms found their way around him and he felt slightly more safe than he did ten seconds prior. 

"It's not real, Eds." His voice was calming, and it was all Eddie needed to keep going. His hands shook, but he didn't stop walking or say anything as they walked towards the familiar well. 

But if felt real when his mother was in his face, screaming that he was sick and pills were falling from her palm, and Eddie gagged at the sight in front of him. Richie was behind it, beating it with Bill's fire poker, and Eddie couldn't fully register it when Mike shot It - His mother - Sonia, in the forehead. He blinked his wide eyes, staring at the figure on the ground in front of him that slowly faded away. He didn't hear the other losers shouting at him to move, and he didn't notice the fireworks that started exploding around him. 

His world was black, but he only knew he was in Richie's sweatshirt and it smelled like him. 

Richie's sweatshirt made him feel like he was always with him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger oops


	15. Chapter 15

i don't think i spelled explanation right, but anywhore  
people got confused at the ending of the last chapter, and iM NOT MAD ABOUT THAT AT ALL  
so i'm going to explain it because i wrote it in a rush and it kind of sucked.   
soo  
the chapter was meant to be the losers defeating IT, but it skipped around more than i wanted it to. i might go back and re-write it tomorrow, but i'm not sure.   
at the end, IT took the form of Sonia, Eddie's mom, to torment him. kind of like the scene in the movie where it became their fears. the other losers took it upon themselves to defeat it, and after Mike shot it, Richie set off the fireworks.   
So i haven't yet decided what really happened to Eddie at the end, but he obviously went unconscious due to injury or lack of breath or something, but he was dangerously close to the fireworks that were set off, so most likely injury.   
in the last two sentences or so, it was just Eddie's last little thoughts about wearing Richie's hoodie and how he felt like he was always with him in it.   
this was meant to be a bit of a cliffhanger, like no one knows that happened to Eddie (trust me, no one. like i don't even know what i did to him lol).   
i hope this cleared some shit up, and I'll either re-write that chapter tomorrow and delete this, or keep this up and just write the next chapter tomorrow.   
thank you for reading!


	16. Chapter 16

The fireworks show that exploded from the treacherous clown's body would've been a terrific sight if all the losers weren't shouting at their friend, who stayed unmoving dangerously close to the fireworks. Sparks shot up from the body and up to the ceiling of the sewers, bouncing off and extinguishing themselves on the damp ground, the dirty sewer water, or their friend's small body. 

Roche couldn't stand the sight of the fireworks when he knew a possible place to burn out on was his boyfriend, the sulfur smell making him feel sick. Despite his friends yelling at him to stay back, he ran forward, only being able to grip the fabric of the hoodie that was once his before he felt a burning sensation on his arm. 

"Fuck you, clown piece of shit!" Richie shouted at the body and gripped the fabric tighter, pulling Eddie away from the spot. 

Of course Richie was scared. Hell, all of the boys were scared when they saw Eddie's face, eyes closed, the purple crescent moons still present under them, and unmoving body. Richie felt like he himself could use a puff from Eddie's inhaler, panicking at the sight before him. "Fuck!" 

Mike was quick to react, lifting Eddie's small body and starting to march away before the others followed. Richie just looked seconds away from tears, his hands shaking. 

It wasn't supposed to happen this way! Richie felt at fault almost entirely when he saw Mike lift up his boyfriend's body, his hands didn't stop shaking, but the tears still didn't fall. Eddie's supposed to be safe and happy and I'm supposed to make him better! This isn't real! 

And in Richie's mind, it wasn't real. He didn't believe at all the sight in front of him, but maybe that was just the fear or truly loosing Eddie. 

Eddie, the smallest kid out of all the Losers, the one they all felt a need to protect, now the only unconscious loser in the club. All of them had an uneasy feeling settled deep in their stomachs, a growing pit that make the kids feel sick. 

"M-Mike, where are w-we taking h-h-him?" Bill's stutter snapped him from his thoughts for a moment, and Richie ran a hand through his curls.

"The hospital. This is serious, I don't think taking him to your house is going to cut it. " Mike's tone was serious, and Richie frowned.

"His mom's going to get called.. We can't take him there." Richie mumbled the words, hoping no one heard, but knowing everyone probably did. 

"What's so bad about that? He needs medical help!" Mike turned his head, frowning at Richie. Richie swallowed thickly and looked at Eddie, who's eyes were still shut. 

"Because his mom isn't a very good person.. God, we can't let him mom find out!" Richie was upset, his hands shook as he fisted his hair, close to tears. "This isn't supposed to be happening!" 

"Richie, calm down, it's okay. We'll take him to the hospital and we'll make sure they don't call his mom." Beverly was the once to calm him down, putting her hand reassuringly on his shoulder. He looked at her for a moment before nodding slightly, watching as Mike continued to carry Eddie out. 

He shuddered at the thought of Eddie not being okay in the long run from this, the fear of losing his best friend nearly overpowering him. "I just want him to be okay." Richie sounded defeated, his voice cracking at the end. Beverly and Bill frowned deeply, both walking beside him, following the others. 

"H-He w-will be, Rich, don't w-wo-worry." Bill tried to comfort his friend, biting his lip softly and watching Richie for a reaction. Richie nodded a bit, and before he could even say anything or think about Eddie again, he was stood in front of the hospital doors. 

The smell was the first thing he noticed, the sterile scent of hospital rooms. Then it was the other people, sitting in chairs in the waiting room, all looking nervous or relieved. Richie wished he could feel relieved in that moment, but the nagging feeling that something could really be wrong with Eddie made his head spin and his whole being surge into anxiety. 

He didn't notice Eddie being taken away by the doctors, but he did notice Mike's face in front of his, lips moving but Richie wouldn't decipher the words coming out. Staring at Mike was the only solution for him in that moment, unaware as to what he was saying, but knowing the words were kind and comforting. 

"Richie, are you listening?" Ben snapped in his ear and he stood up a little taller, eyes widening momentarily. He frowned and shook his head, "Sorry, what'd you say?" 

Mike sighed slightly, "I said, the doctors are taking him in right now. We just have to take a seat and wait for the news." Richie only nodded, swallowing and sitting down in one of the empty chairs. The other five losers followed suit, all sitting beside each other. Richie tapped his foot nervously, gnawing on his lower lip as anxiety consumed him, taking over his every thought as action. 

"Eddie Kaspbrak?" 

Richie never stood up so fast in his life.


	17. Chapter 17

Richie's world stopped, his head spinning and his heart pounding as the doctor spoke to the six boys. He couldn't do anything but stare at the man in front of him, a frown firmly in place on his face. The fear from before was back, the feeling of it mixed with anxiety made him feel like death was a better option than sitting in a waiting room and being forced to listen to the news about his boyfriend. He felt like he couldn't swallow, his throat tight, and that along with the rapid beating of his heart felt like it was all to much.

"Eddie's going to be okay." and that was all Richie got out of the doctor's words, and all the fear and anxiety was gone, and his entire body was flooded with relief.

"Oh, thank god, can we go see him?'' Richie looked up, eyes wide and hopeful, and all the other kids smiled softly at the sight.

"One at a time, but yes." The doctor told him the room number, and Richie looked back at all the other losers, who only nodded at his silent question. Richie nearly ran to the room, dashing up the old, concrete stairs two at a time. His heart pounded with anticipation, and he felt like he could finally swallow again. The door to the room had a small tag that had Eddie's name on it, and Richie couldn't have been more thankful that Mike had brought him here. 

It was horribly heartbreaking for Richie to see Eddie in the hospital bed, his small body covered by a light blanket. He frowned slightly, biting his lip, before walking over to the bed, pulling up a chair and grabbing Eddie's hand. He squeezed it tight, biting his lip and holding it tight. He wanted Eddie's eyes to open, he wanted to hear his voice.

Richie didn't want to wait for his boyfriend to wake up, but he knew he'd have to.

"I need to see him!" Richie cringed when he heard the shrill scream in the hallway, the familiar tone making him feel sick. He stood up, letting go of Eddie's hand, and stood by the door, not wanting her anywhere near Eddie.

The door slammed open, making Richie jump, and when Sonia Kaspbrak appeared in the doorway, he never shouted 'Get out' so loud in his entire life. The woman looked appalled at his words, her eyes wide. "Excuse me?"

"I said get out! You have absolutely no right to be here, especially after what you did to Eddie!" Richie shouted, an angry look on his face. "You don't get to show up and pretend that you care when your son feels the need to run away to get away from you and cries almost every night because of what you did."

Sonia had shock written all over her face, nothing but pure shock as the words left Richie's mouth. He didn't care about anything other than Eddie's well being in that moment, and as he stood there with Sonia standing in front of him, he knew he'd be happier if he woke up and she wasn't there. "Get out." He spoke lowly, not yelling anymore.

Sonia's shock had been replaced by anger as she stomped into the room, and Richie could practically see the steam coming out of her ears. "He's my son! I will not have some- some trashy Tozier boy tell me what to do!"

Richie took a deep breath, trying to contain his anger as he pressed the button on the side of Eddie's bed that would call one of the nurses into the room discretely. "Why'd you hit him, Sonia?"

"What?" Her eyes went wide and she gawked at the kid in front of her, "He's telling people about that now? God, he can't keep his mouth shut!-"

The nurse came into the room without any warning and frowned deeply at the scene, Richie standing in front of the bed, looking like he was protecting the small, unconscious boy, while Sonia stood straight, anger in her features. "There's only supposed to be one visitor in here at a time."

"Please take her out, miss, she's hit him before and I'm scared she'll do it again!" Richie frowned, grabbing ahold of Eddie's hand again, and all of Sonia's anger just seemed to multiply at the action.

"You! You're the reason my son is sick!" She sneered, venom dripping from her words as she pointed a finger accusingly at Richie, who stood his ground, not scared of the woman at all.

"No, I'm not. He's not sick, either." Richie mumbled, watching the nurse step into the room and call security on the walkie talkie connected to her hip.

"Miss, I'm going to have to ask you to leave-" Richie felt bad for the poor nurse when Sonia turned to her, shouting loud, "I'm his mother! This piece of shit should be the one that has to leave!"

Richie chose to ignore the rest of the conversation, sitting back down in the chair by Eddie's bed and holding onto his hand tightly. Maybe Eddie would wake up faster if Richie held his hand tighter.

Richie hoped he would.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter after this....

  
Richie refused to leave the room when the doctor told him visiting hours were over, holding tightly onto the smaller boy's hand and shaking his head, "No, I'm not leaving him alone." His words came out as a soft whisper, the silence in the room after them nearly defining. He felt like tears could overfill his eyes at any moment as he sat in the uncomfortable hospital chair, but they never did. 

The tears didn't fall as he stared at his hand holding Eddie's, feeling his pulse thump gently against his thumb. They didn't fall when he felt like his best friend was gone. His mind was filling with the worst case scenarios even if the doctor told him differently. _There can always be complications that the doctors didn't notice. Maybe they missed something and Eddie's about to die, and all he was doing was holding his hand._  

But there were no complications, and it seemed that there was nothing they didn't notice when Eddie slightly squeezed Richie's hand around three AM. Richie's half-lidded eyes shot open wide quickly, and Eddie's slowly became half-lidded. "I can practically hear the overthinking from here." His voice was weak and scratchy, and as sad as it made Richie, he couldn't have been happier in that moment. 

"Eds! Oh my gods, I was so fucking scared, you have no idea! Mike had to carry you here, and fucking-" Richie cut himself off, being a bit too excited for his own good. He couldn't help but feel the happiness course through his veins when he felt Eddie squeeze his hand and heard Eddie's voice, and he didn't think he'd ever felt anything better. "I'm not dead though." Eddie smiled weakly and Richie let out a chuckle, shaking his head. 

Those tears from before that didn't fall? Yeah, they were falling now. 

Richie let out a small wet laugh and ran a hand over his face, shaking his head, "You ended up in the hospital because of fireworks exploding from a dead clown's body." The two boys stared at each other before bursting out into hysterical laughter, Richie's eyes crinkling at the corners behind his glasses while Eddie's shut tight. 

"You were the one who wanted the fireworks, Richie!" Eddie laughed, smiling at his boyfriend, who still had a tight hold on his hand. He couldn't have felt happier, despite the wires he was attached to, and the slight pain in his whole body, he felt content again. "I think it might have ruined my one true love though... your hoodie.." 

"Eds, there's plenty more hoodies that you can find love with." Richie smiled wide and shook his head at Eddie's words. 

"But it was one in a million." He fake pouted, holding back a laugh. Richie only shook his head with a fond smile. Eddie let himself smile, closing his eyes gently. 

"Get some rest, Eds, I'll be here when you wake up." Richie smiled still, petting Eddie's wild hair down with his free hand. Eddie nodded slightly, eyes staying closed, and his breath evening out. Richie loved seeing Eddie happy. 

He could go on for days how happy he felt in that moment, ramble until he was as breathless as Eddie, but a picture spoke a thousand words. He didn't take a picture, though, just a metal one, keeping it safe in his mind, sure he'd never forget the moment when Eddie opened his eyes and the two laughed despite the situation.

He felt like he could smile forever, like the feeling of happiness wouldn't fade, and when Eddie's eyes would open again, it would grow stronger. He closed his own, though, and at three thirty am, both boys were asleep. 

- 

Bill was the first one into the room the next day, the first one to spot the two boys holding hands, their eyes closed, and he noticed that this time, there were no purple crescent moons under Eddie's. Ben and Bev were next, and the smiles on their faces when they saw the two were contagious to all the losers. Stan and Mike came in joking, but quickly quieted down when they saw the two pairs of closed eyes.

"Aw, look at the two sleepy lovers." Ben smiled.

"I'm not asleep, dork, I can hear you." Richie mumbled, eyes still closed as a grin spread across his face. He chuckled when he heard Ben groan a bit.

"Jesus, Rich, did you intend to scare the shit out of me?" Stan grumbled, not expecting Richie to speak. Richie let out a soft laugh and shook his head. "Nah, that's just a plus."

"D-did he wake u-up yet?" Bill asked, voice hushed as to not wake Eddie up. Richie nodded with a fond smile, opening up his eyes, "Yeah, at like three am he was up for about twenty or thirty minutes."

"That's good." Beverly smiled, her eyes crinkling like Richie's did hours before. He smiled too.

 "You guys know that I'm awake too, right?"

"EDDIE, YOU DICK!" 


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter! There will be a second book, however, I hope you guys read it! It'll be called Eddie, Please!

Eddie didn't want to be in the hospital anymore. In fact, after four days of staying in the boring bed and spending the nights alone, he was sure he'd go crazy before the doctors let him go. They'd gone over his medication ninety three times, telling him what he can and can't take it with, and it's not like he's been taking it his whole life.

He half expected the doctors to never let him leave, for them to decide to make a permanent room for him just a bit down the hall, and the thought of that horrified him. He shivered, looking at the clock that sat on the wall next to the TV. Just one more hour until visiting hours, then Richie can come.

Eddie found himself impatiently waiting for visiting times every day, drumming his fingers against his chest and humming whatever song came to his mind, knowing that as soon as 8 AM hit, Richie would come through the door with a wide smile and a shitty joke, and every now and then, one of the others would tag along, but they usually came later in the day.

It didn't feel any different for him that day, his mind was still captivated by thoughts of Richie and never being able to leave the hospital. He sighed slightly, closing his eyes again as if that would make 8 o'clock come any faster.

And somehow it did, because when he opened his eyes after what seemed like five minutes later, it was 7:58 and he couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his face. Two minutes now.

Richie came in one minute early, the smile on his face wider than any other time he'd came into the room. "Eds! guess what? You get to go home today!"

Eddie's eyes widened, and the smile on his face grew wide, "Really?" Richie nodded and sat next to him, grabbing his hand and holding it tightly. Eddie could stop smiling the whole day, and no matter what Richie talked about, he didn't feel any other emotions.

And ten minutes before visiting hours ended, a nurse came into the room. "Eddie, before you leave, we have to talk to you alone. " She frowned slightly when Richie instantly got defensive, saying something about how he wasn't going to leave Eddie.

"It's okay, Richie, I'll be okay. " Eddie looked up at him with his little smile and Richie's heart melted, hesitantly nodding, he left the room.

Eddie looked up again to see the nurse, who was pulling the wires out of his arms.  "What did you have to say, miss?"

"Well, you're leaving today, and you obviously need to live somewhere. And as much as we'd love to let you go with your friend, you need a parent to pick you up. " Eddie's smile faded at the thought of seeing his mother again, hearing her speak to him like he was a dog, watching her force the pills down his throat.

"B-but you know what she did to me.., you're just going to give me back to her so she can do it again?" He whimpered slightly, curling his fingers into fists and biting his lip. The memories of what she did horrified him.

"No, Eddie, we're sending you home with you new parents." She smiled softly and looked over at the door. The Toziers came in, and for once, they weren't fucking trashed.

Mr.Tozier looked like Richie, thick glasses perched on his nose, his black curly hair cut short. Mrs.Tozier looked actually happy, even though Eddie could tell she'd rather be at home drunk off her ass. Her long brown hair was down, falling over her shoulders as she stood by the door. "M-Mr and Mrs. Tozier?"

"Hey, Eddie. Richie told us about what was happening, and we couldn't just let our son's best friend be sent away to a home. " Mr.Tozier smiled and put a hand on his wife's back. The scene was sickly sweet, and half of Eddie knew it was all an act and the two would go back to drinking and smoking as soon as the boys were home.

Eddie smiled nonetheless, sitting up in the uncomfortable bed and swinging his feet over, "Thank you so much!"

The couple smiled, and Eddie noticed Richie giving him a thumbs up behind his mother's shoulder, and he felt like everything was going to be okay again.

-

The few days Eddie felt like everything would be okay were gone as the loser's club entered the sewers again, the feeling all too familiar. 

"I know I heard  something, Bill, Im not going crazy!" Ben frowned, shining a flashlight into the dark tunnels. Shivers ran down Eddie's spine when he heard a slash, then Stan scream at the sound.

"Stan, why the fuck do you keep getting scared? stop!" Richie groaned and tried to see if he could spot the source of the noise. Stan grumbled a response.

They found nothing, but Eddie couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. He also couldn't shake the sight of a popped red balloon that seemed to appear out of no where by his shoe.

"Eds, look out!"


End file.
